Plot for a Not-so-funny Sitcom: Pimpy-Aaaaarrr and Pimpy-Jay band together to write the first and best adventurer's guide to Nicaragua. Pimpy-Aaaaarrr completes his work with the Corps of Engineers and moves out of his luxury crashpad in the wealthy Las Colinas neighborhood of Managua and packs up his office in the extravagant and colonial Casa Grande. Together he and Pimpy-Jay look for a place to live. They wind up at...
... The Pimp Tower, a.k.a. Edificio Piramide, in Reparto San Juan, Managua. $250 a month plus phone. A 270 degree view of the skyline from above the tree tops, and no way in hell of getting out in case of an earthquake. It's no small irony the Pimptower is planted on top of a seismic fault. Former inhabitants have fled in fear of the lightning-attractor steel dome top, and the funky crooked cardboard walls. Our heroes are unfazed.
Wild wooley balls of body hair ankle-deep on the floor, hurricane gusts rattling the panes in the windows, a downspout of a leak in one wall that pees rainwater onto the floor every time there's a shower. There's barely space to turn around, and like superheroes on a quest to pin down the arch-enemy and destroyer of free time and sanity, "Travel Guide," Pimpy-Aaaaarrr and Pimpy-Jay spend 8 weeks within 20 feet of each other, slowly festering in unwashed bachelordom, body cavity odors, and fast-food.
They complete the book, which goes on to become the most popular travel guidebook to Nicaragua ever. Nuff said. And hey, no one ever said being an author was glamorous.
Josué as Pimpy-Jay
The Randymon as Pimpy-Aaaaarrr
With Appearances by:
|Diesel||Low-life friend of Pimpy-J's. Bad element who drops in and out at random ungodly hours of the night, usually to heckle the authors, peddle barbiturates, and litter the apartment with pornography.|
|Sucky-Chick||Lives downstairs in a box-apartment over the parking lot. Would probably be comic relief if she weren't so annoying. Speaks rapid Spanglish, might be on coke.|
|Fumes||Quirky but loveable Japanese girl whose hair color cycles through psychedelic rainbow shades from week to week. Like an anime character, except she chain smokes marlboros with the filters cut off.|
|Manwell||The obligatory good-natured gay neighbor. Kind of like "Will and Grace" for the over-60 set.|
|Zander||Galician wood merchant. Completely incomprehensible. Might be speaking Spanish, might just be snot.|
|Sleazy-P||general handyman who likes to introduce himself with, "Hi, wannna buy me some grain alcohol?" Occasionally found knocking on Manwell's door at 4 AM, drunk and asking for money owed. Hmmm.|
|...and more||The Pimptower, turns out, is rumored to be populated with minister's mistresses, foreigners, homosexuals, prostitutes, and wayward transients like our own pimpy selves. The sheer potential for bit parts is amazing, including "the little girl with glasses," "the Taliban boyfriend," "Dazey the cat," and the thieving maids, "the strung-out cocktail waitress upstairs," and Stimpy, Pimpy-Jay's would-be gay lover, thwarted again and again. Try losing the dumb hat, Stimpy.|
|Mister Roper, move over,wuss-bag, you've been out-classed. The Doctah is known across town for getting more ass than a toilet seat, for his wild Sunday afternoon soiriees, and for his passion for 1940s Latin ballads, which he blasts through a set of 1500 W speakers so the other neighborhoods can share.
"I once knew a woman," his stories go, "She would come often to my bed."
In all the Pimp tower, the Doctah was the pimpiest of them all.
But hey, you can't beat the view:
(click the image for the wrap-around view effect)
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